The Sleepover Question

This article was comparing Dutch family values with American family values in reference to teenage sex. The article seemed to be mostly geared towards American parents, and to help them understand the advantages of having an open, acceptive relationship with your children. This article was particularly interesting to me, because having just come back from staying with a Dutch 16 year old girl, and being an 16 year old American girl myself, I could really see both sides clearly. In my opinion, and what seems to be the authors opinion, the Dutch way of handling "The Sleepover Question" is the more favorable. Americans tend to be much more conservative about sex, especially with teenagers. However, from what I've experienced, the Dutch are very open about sex, even when relating to their own teenage children, and will bring it up nonchalantly at the dinner table, with guests. The girl I was staying with had almost the exact same story as in the article; she had sex with her boyfriend, but did not immediately tell her parents. But, soon after she decided to tell them, because it was uncomfortable for her to not share something like that with the people she loved. When she told them, they were not upset by the sex itself, but by the fact she did not come to them before, because they would have helped her be safe and have the house to herself. Since then, she has had many sleepovers, because her parents feel better knowing that their daughter is having safe sex under the sanctity of their own roof. In many American families, this would be appalling. I feel as though many parents are more worried with the act of having sex itself, then the details of where they are having it, or if it's safe. I've had many American parents tell me or my family that they'd NEVER allow their child to have a "sleepover" under their own roof, because they view it as disrespectful and bad parenting, basically telling your child it's okay to have sex. However, it is not as though the Dutch parents are pushing sex on their kids, or hoping that they do have sex. They just tend to generally treat their children as adults at a younger age, which therefore allows them to respect and accept their child's decisions, rather than fighting them, because they'd rather spend their time making sure that their kids were having safe sex in a safe place, then fighting them on something that is bound to happen sooner or later.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/24/opinion/sunday/24schalet.html?src=mv&ref=general